


Goodbye

by Kimchiqueen33



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Sad, Sickfic, Tumor, joshua is sick, kpop
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-11-06 07:49:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17935751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kimchiqueen33/pseuds/Kimchiqueen33
Summary: Joshua is diagnosed with a life threatening brain tumor and decides against telling the members because he didn't want to worry them. Instead he decides to say goodbye while he can.





	1. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is one of my first times writing so it might not be the best work, it's just something I've been working on.

Joshua's POV

A tumor, there's no possible way that I could have a brain tumor. It would explain the headaches that I've been getting recently, but I just can't believe it. I don't like cussing, but this is so fucking unfair I worked my butt off to achieve what I have and it's all going to go away because of something I can't control.

My manager knew about the tumor because he came to the hospital with me, but I told him not to tell the members.

"I really think you should tell them Shua," manager hyung said.

"Hyung I am going to die and they don't need to be put through any pain because of me. All I ask is that I can have 2 weeks to go say goodbye to my family. I only have 6 months left and I plan to make use of everything I have left," I said with tears in my eyes.

"Okay Joshua I'll arrange for a flight to LA for tomorrow," he said in a soft voice.

"Thank you hyung. Can we go back to the dorm so I can pack my stuff?" I asked.

"Yeah let's go," he said.

A half an hour later we arrived at the dorm.

"Thank you for driving me hyung. I'll see you tomorrow morning when you come to pick me up," I said before entering the dorm.

"Hey hyung," Mingyu said as I opened the door.

"Hi Mingyu do you know where Seungchol is?" I asked.

"He's in his room I think," he responded.

"Thank you."

Then I went off to find Seungchol so I could tell him I was leaving for two weeks.

"Seungchol?" I asked.

"Is something wrong Joshua?" he asked concerned.

"I-I'm okay." I said while stuttering.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yeah I just wanted to tell you that I'm leaving for LA tomorrow." I said.

"Why? Is something wrong?" he asked.

"Family emergency." I said which wasn't exactly lying I'm part of my family and here I am on my deathbed.

"What happened?" he asked.

"I'd rather not talk about it right now Coups I'm really tired." I said in a pleading voice.

"Okay Shua go get some sleep I'll tell the others in the morning." he said.

"Thank you I appreciate it." I said.

I then went into my room and locked the door so that I could call my mom.

I called my mom and waited until she answered.

J: Mom?

M: Joshua?

J: Mom I just got back from the doctors

M: Is something wrong?

J: Mom they said I have a brain tumor.

M: What's the treatment? I mean they have to be able to do something.

J: Mom they said it was inoperable. So I'm coming to LA tomorrow mom. I've accepted it and I just want to spend as much time as I can with you guys and then I want to spend time with the boys.

M: Okay son I'll see you soon.

I could tell she was crying and I bet she could tell that I was crying too. All I wanted to do was erase this day from my life, but I couldn't. All I could do was take a shower and go to sleep.

I stepped into the steaming shower and just cried, wondering how my life had turned into a nightmare in just a matter of hours. I guess I was really out of it because I didn't hear Jeonghan ask if he could shower with me which resulted in him coming into the shower and scaring me.

"Sorry Shua I thought you heard me come in. Are you crying?" he asked, probably because my eyes were red.

"No I'm fine Jeonghan don't worry. I just got soap in my eyes." I said trying to avoid telling him the truth.


	2. 2

Joshua's POV

I was just about to exit the dorm with my suitcase and leave the airport with manger hyung, but I was stopped when Vernon asked me where I was going.

"Vernon I'm going home. I'll be back in two weeks." I said.

"Why are you going home hyung is something wrong?" he asked concerned about me.

"It's a family emergency Vernon. Seungcheol is going to tell the rest of the members later. Go back to sleep Vernon. I'll call you when I arrive in LA. I promise." I said.

"Okay if you're sure nothing's wrong hyung."

"I'm sure Hansol. I'll see you in two weeks."

*in LA*

I touched down in LA and ran to meet my family as soon as I could. Then I went home only to cry into my mother's arms. I don't want to die, but there's nothing I can do. My parents wanted me to get a second opinion, but I don't want have to go through that again. I just want to spend time with my family with the rest of the time I have left.

"Joshua you have to tell your members. They're your family too they deserve to know. What do you think is going to happen when you die and they had no idea that you were sick?!" my mom said/yelled.

"I don't want them to have to be put through all this grief mom." I said.

"How are you planning on hiding this from them? You're going to be in a lot of pain all the time Shua." my mom asked concerned.

"I don't know mom, but I'll figure it out." I said.

I spent the rest of my time in LA with my friends and family.

*a week later*

Joshua's POV

I'm coming back to Korea today and some of the members are picking me up at the airport with manager hyung. I had gotten a horrible headache on the plane and any loud noises were making me want to curl up in a ball and die, but I had to keep on a good face for my members.

I walked out of the plane to see my members waiting for me at the gate.

"Hyung!" Seungkwan yelled.

It felt like my head was going to explode, but he was happy to see my so I suffered through the pain and went to hug him.

"Is everything okay with your family hyung?" Minghao asked me.

"No, but hopefully it will be soon. I really missed you guys." I said.

"We missed you too hyung." Jun said.

"Let's go home now you guys I'm really tired from the flight." I said in a tired voice.

"Okay hyung." they said.

We arrived at the dorm and the others greeted me with a bunch of hugs.

"Hyung we should all watch a movie together since you're back now." Chan said.

All I wanted to do at that moment was sleep and get rid of this headache, but I couldn't resist my dongsaengs.

"Okay Chan let's do it." I said while pulling him into my side and hugging him.

We all went to the TV and cuddled with each other. I made it about 40 minutes into the movie when I fell asleep with my head on Jihoon's lap.

Jihoon's POV

Something's definitely wrong with Joshua hyung, but I don't know what. I'm going to talk about it with Jeonghan and Coups after the movie ends. 

*about 2 hours later*

Most of the members had fallen asleep so I covered Joshua with a blanket and woke up Jeonghan and Coups.

"I need to talk to you guys, its about Shua hyung." I said in a serious voice.

"What's wrong with him Jihoon?" Jeonghan asked.

"I don't know hyung, but something is obviously bothering him. I know you noticed it too." I said.

"He was crying in the shower the day before he left for LA." Jeonghan said.

"Something must be really wrong with his family, he said there was an emergency. He told us that, but we don't know what exactly happened." I said concerned about my hyung.

"If he hasn't told us then we should leave him be, he will tell us when he's ready too." Coups said.

"Okay, but we have to watch out for him." Jeonghan said.

Joshua's POV

I woke up and gasped at how intense the pain in my head was. It was still late at night and my members were asleep surrounding me so I went to my bed and curled up in a ball while trying to make the pain stop. Eventually the pain got so bad that I went into the the bathroom, locked the door, and puked for about 30 minutes. When I was done I walked out of the bathroom and fell asleep on my bed.

By the time Coups woke me up I was thinking that instead of dying in 6 months my time was right now. I was so tired that I didn't know if I would even make it out of the dorm.

I didn't want to let down Carats though so I got up so I could get dressed for practice.

"Hyung are you okay? You don't look very good." Soonyoung asked.

"I'm not feeling very well right now, but let's go to practice now." I said.

"Hyung if you're not feeling well you shouldn't practice." he said.

"Soonyoung I already missed two weeks of practice because I had to go to LA. I can't disappoint the fans."I said.


	3. 3

Joshua's POV

We were about half way through dance practice when I maybe sort of fainted. I remember waking up to all of my members crowding around me and I realized that it was going to be a lot harder to hide it from them than I thought.

"Hyung are you okay? Do you need to go to the hospital?" Wonwoo asked in a worried voice.

"I'm fine Wonwoo, can you just get manager hyung? I need to talk to him." I said.

"Okay hyung I'll go get him." he said before going off to find manager hyung.

After that I was sitting in a private room talking to manager hyung.

"Okay Shua I talked to your doctor and he said that next time you have a migraine you can take one of these pills and it will help you with the pain."

"Thank you hyung." I said.

"Shua you need to tell them, what if something happens to you and they don't know what to do because you never told them? You could die!"

"Hyung I just don't know what to do I want to tell them I really do, but it will change everything! They'll just be looking at me with pity!" I shouted with tears streaming down my face. 

Hyung came and hugged me while telling me that everything was going to be okay even though I knew it wasn't.

I came back to the practice room after taking one of the pills and having that minor break down.

"Shua why are you back? You should go back to the dorm and rest." Coups hyung said.

"I'm fine now Cheolie it was just a minor thing." I responded.

Cheolie pulled me to the side of the practice room for some privacy.

"Shua you fainted that isn't minor you shouldn't be here." he said.

Then he noticed that I had been crying. 

"Were you crying Shua?" he asked concerned.

"It's nothing Cheolie please let it go and just let me practice." I begged.

"Shua I just want to help you, tell me what to do to make you feel better." he said.

"I just need to not talk about it right now please." I said.

"Okay, I'll stop talking about it until you're ready to talk to me, but you're going back to the dorm to rest and that's final." he said in a firm voice.

"Okay Cheol." I said.

"You can talk to me about what's bothering you." he said.

"I know and I will in time Cheolie. I promise." I said.

 

S.Coups POV

"Everyone keep practicing while I talk to Jeonghan." I said.

They all looked at me concerned about what happened to Shua, but continued on with practice.

"Jeonghan, Jihoon was right something is seriously wrong with Shua. I'm really worried about him he won't tell me anything. We need to talk to him." I said.

"We're the oldest Cheolie, all 3 of us and everyone else depends on us and Shua being like this is going to affect all of them. We're their support system as the oldest they need to be able to come to us and Joshua should be able to come us if he needs help. When he wants to talk to us he will talk to us, we can talk to him, but we can't pressure him into telling us what's wrong." he said.

I knew Jeonghan was right I want Shua to tell me what's wrong with him, but it's up to him.

"We should talk to him tonight." I said.

"Okay Cheolie, but we can't gang up on him." he said.


End file.
